Fairy tales have long been known to provide us wisdom above and beyond their entertaining story. The one that has particularly caught my attention recently is that of Snow White. In my intuitive vision, I continue to sense this fairy tale and see a broken mirror, the result of a wicked step mum’s avengement. I got the hint that it had some illumination for my emotional state, which was somewhat broken and most certainly a feeling of not being at peace in myself. In this year, which I proclaimed an intention of peace for myself, I recognised that my current emotional state is a gift for me to evolve to greater peace. I dived into my winter woes to see what would be reflected in this frosty story tale setting of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
The wicked step mum, the insecure self
I distinctly remember the day that my husband and I announced our engagement to his son, and at the age of 25, he had the wit and humour to say, “wicked step mother”. This was said entirely with warmth and jest and I was only amused. Yet over time I have come to learn a bit about this archetype of the wicked step mother. There are times when she sees the solidarity and wholeness in a bond between her husband and his child, so much so, that she feels invisible. There are times when she compares herself to her step daughter and laments the loss of her youthfulness. She knows that parent and child were perfectly happy before she came along and so she will sometimes ask herself, “Where do I fit? What do I have to offer this tight knit family unit?” Her insecurities can go as far as asking “How do I measure up and am I enough?”
No doubt many of you, whether you are a step parent or not, will have confronted these kinds of insecurities and fallen into the trap of comparing yourself with others. The wicked step mum is the perfect character to teach us about our insecurities. Her vanity and rage towards that mirror represents any moment that we look at ourself and question or dislike what we see or hear.
The breaking of the mirror - fractioning of the psyche
When we look at the mirror within and can’t accept what we see, there is often a fractioning of the psyche behind it. There will have been moments of distrusting, doubting or even disowning or disconnecting from aspects of the self that have caused us pain. Trauma will often leave a mark of absence by stealing away that part of the self that was present…the young girl who was raped and makes sure not to show her sexual self, the child who was told not to cry and now becomes numb or withdrawn, the adolescent who no longer creates or dreams big because of being bullied in the school yard. The broken mirror represents all those pained parts of the psyche waiting to be reclaimed and re-integrated.
Attack on Snow White - the divine self
When the step mother goes after Snow White she has embarked upon more than a malicious act of vanity. She has embarked upon a mission to claim back the innocent self, the child self, pure in Divine connection. Snow white is spared through the divine being she is, which is the part of us that never dies and instead experiences energetic change in form.
Snow white befriends the seven dwarves - seven aspects of self that exist within us all, and in the process these seven aspects can be befriended and integrated. This process of befriending the parts of us that we have previously rejected, or disconnected from, is an important part of an inner healing process which grants us protection and freedom from our wounded judging self. As the fairy tale suggests, this is no walk in the park, it can be an intrepid time in the deep dark woods, yet rewarding in its challenge.
My venture into the woods began as I ventured back on a six day drive to Western Australia from seeing my beloved family in Eastern Australia. There were many moments of contemplation and emotion on that drive while I sat with myself, staring at the lines on the road, aware that my husband didn’t like to have too much conversation. By day five of the drive, a conversation between my husband and I illuminated the broken mirror. He was triggered and expressed it. I was triggered and shut my mouth. I wanted to get on a plane and fly straight back to my family, I wanted to abandon my husband and all the challenges swirling around in my head. I sat for the next couple of hours of the trip in emotional pain, trying not to make a fuss and trying to understand what all this hurt was about because I knew it was not about him and he was not to blame. The muscles of my face jumped around frenetically while the tears streamed down my face. My throat was constricted and my heart was burning. I breathed all this emotion into my heart for transformation. Then we talked it over. We held space for each other to be heard. I wandered into the bush and sobbed, trusting my body in its process and hoping that it was done. I lay in bed restless that night reflecting upon the mirror and all those fragmented and pained parts of myself and finally in the dead of night, as the frosty air settled to the earth, I came back to peace.
The relevant parts of myself had been sufficiently grieved and celebrated. With every painful and problematic part of me there was a golden nugget of learning and a bright and positive side for me to love. In this process I had the chance to accept and embrace all of me, and to look in the mirror and love who I see. I had the chance to experience my Snow White and know that I was being held by a most precious and pure divinity.
If you go into the woods to find Snow White and your seven dwarves, you have the opportunity to more deeply connect to all of life and your divine self and repair your relationship with the mirror and reclaim peace within.
Winter is traditionally a time of inner reflection and the reflections are not always pleasing and pleasant. So if you find yourself affronted by some difficult emotions this season, don’t despair, have courage and be with yourself while they move through you and illuminate you to see and love more of you. And know that you are divinely loved and held, no matter what. There is brilliance existing within and on the other side of these dark and wintery experiences.
If you feel like you need some help working through your emotions or physical eruptions get in touch. I am still doing online consultation while I find myself a clinic space to work from in Fremantle. There is a lot we can do on zoom to support the very important inner process of psychological evolution.